The Akatsuki Fears
by shifter-of-time
Summary: Ever wondered what the Akatsuki are afraid of? Well here's your chance. Rated T for mild language & sugestive theme near the end. May contain spoilers. Includes all Akatsuki members that were/will be/are in the Akatsuki.


**Shifter of Time**: Yay! I finally got it up!

**Konan**: Oh, be quiet, Shifter. Yes, you got it up. You & Weaver must have been on crack when you wrote this.

**Weaver**: We were bored. This is what happens when we get bored. We make funny crack Naruto stories.

**Tobi**: Don't you have to make Deidara-Sempai say something, Shifter?

**Shifter of Time**: Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me, Tobi. Say it Deidara.

**Deidara**: Ugh, fine. She owns nothing in this story except for the words.

**Shifter of Time**: Thank you, Dei-dei-kun. ^_^

**Deidara**: -_-' Tobi, why did you have to remind her, un? _*thinks to self- Why did Sasori give me that nickname?*_

**Tobi**: Because Tobi is a good boy.

**Hidan**: Just let them read the fuckin' story, Jashin damn it!

* * *

**_Fears of the Akatsuki_**

Characters

_Pein_

_Tobi_

_Konan_

_Kisame_

_Orochimaru_

_Itachi_

_Zetsu_

_Hidan_

_Sasori_

_Deidara(explosions)_

_Kakuzu_

_Sasuke_

* * *

Sasuke: I'm bored!

Itachi: So am I.

_*Everyone else agrees with them*_

Tobi: I have an idea.

All but Tobi: -sigh-............What?

Tobi: What's your worst fear, Konan?

Konan: Water.

Kisame: Why?

Konan: Because water causes my paper to become useless. Duh! Why else?

Tobi: How 'bout you, Orochimaru?

Orochimaru: Michael Jack_*hiss*_on.

Konan: But isn't that your dad?

Orochimaru: He i_*hiss*_ not my dad, damn it!

_*Orochimaru & Konan start arguing*_

Zetsu: I wouldn't hurt her if I were you, Orochimaru. She is Pein's girlfriend, after all.

Orochimaru: I won't hurt her.

Tobi: Hey, Kakuzu, what are you afraid of?

Kakuzu: Frankenstein.

Hidan: What the hell? You are fuckin' modeled after him, for Jashin's sake!

_*Kakuzu glares at his partner while wishing he could kill the imortal*_

Sasori: Pinocchio scares me.

Deidara: How does Pinocchio scare you, Sasori no Danna, un?

Sasori: The nose GROWS. It's just not natural. Plus, he wants to be a real boy. Why the fuck does he want to be a real boy? No one in their right fucking mind would want to be a real person! Being a puppet is _way_ cooler.

_*About ten minutes later- Konan won the argument with Orochimaru*_

Orochimaru: Hey Sa_*hiss*_uke, what are you afraid of?

Sasuke: Chickens.

Hidan: Why in the name of Jashin would you be afraid of a fucking chicken? Hell, your hair looks like one!

Sasuke: My hair does not look like a damn chicken!!!!!

Itachi: I know why. _*smirks*_

Sasuke: DON'T YOU DARE, ITACHI!!!!! YOU MAY BE MY BROTHER, BUT I WILL KILL YOU!!!!

Itachi: You can't kill me and you know it. Pein forbid you to do so when you first joined.

_*Sasuke glares at Itachi*_

Pein: That is true. Well, tell us, Itachi. I want to hear this story.

_*All but Sasuke agree with Pein*_

Itachi: It was back when I was 13 and Sasuke was 9. I was bored one day, so I decided to dare him to go pet the neighbors' chickens. They were the meanest chickens I have ever seen. Trying to not look like a scaredy-cat, he foolishly agreed.

Sasori: Well, what happened to him?

Itachi: He got mercilessly pecked by them while I laughed my ass off. Mother and Father were pissed when they found out. It was worth it though.

_*All in Akatsuki laugh except for Sasuke, who is glaring at his brother.*_

Sasuke: I still haven't forgiven you for that, nii-san!

Itachi: _*smirk*_ Get over it.

Tobi: Tobi wonders what Leader-Sama's worst fear is....

Pein: Me? Afraid of something? Why would you think that? I'm not afraid of anything.

Konan: Oh, really?

Pein: Yes, really.

Konan: Bull shit, Pein. You're afraid of-

Pein: DON'T YOU DARE, KONAN!!!!

Konan: -needles.

Everyone else: .............

Pein: I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY IT!!!!

Konan: Since when have I ever listened to you?

Pein: Good question....

Sasori: What the hell?! But you have 26 peircings

Itachi: Actually, he has 38

Konan: Well, he actually has 46

Pein: What about that one-

Konan: Scratch that. 47.

*_Tobi is confused. The rest of them look disturbed/scared.*_

Kisame: How do you- Oh, I know. Never mind.

Pein: What are you afraid of, Tobi?

Tobi: Tobi is afraid of lollypops.

_*Itachi licks Tobi's mask. Tobi is mortified.*_

Itachi: I KNEW IT! (A/N: I do not own this idea. I was searching for Akatsuki pics and randomly found it.)

Konan: What did you know?

Itachi: HIS MASK DOES TASTE LIKE A LOLLYPOP!

All others: -_-'

Konan: What are you afraid of, Zetsu?

_*Argues with self over whether bees or moths were scarrier for five minutes before coming to an agreement*_

Zetsu: Tobi.

Tobi: Why are you afraid of Tobi? Tobi a good boy!

Zetsu: That's why.

Sasuke: _*smirk*_ I know what Itachi's afraid of.

Itachi: *_shrugs*_ It's only fair. I'm afraid of weasels.

Pein: Why? Out of everything you could be afraid of, why weasels?

Hidan: Yeah. Doesn't your name fuckin' translate to 'weasel'?

Itachi: Yeah, it does, Hidan, and I'm afraid of them because I got bit by one when I was younger. What are you afraid of, Hidan?

Hidan: None of your fucking buisiness, Itachi.

Kakuzu: He's afraid of something called Barney.

Hidan: He's a big, gay, purple fuckin' dinosaur. Who wouldn't be afraid of him?

All others: ????????

Itachi: Kisame's afraid of fishing poles.

_*All in Akatsuki laugh*_

Kisame: I have a good reason. You'd be afraid of them too if you'd almost been killed by one.

_*All agree*_

Konan: There's only one other person who hasn't shared thier fear. Deidara, what are you araid of?

Deidara: Explosions, un.

Sasori: What the hell? But you blow stuff up all the time!

Deidara: I never said I was afraid of making explosions. The only time I'm afraid of them is when I don't control them, un.

Pein: It's getting late and all of you have to set out on missions tomorrow.

Konan: True. Time for bed.

_*All but Konan and Pein groan in protest but go to bed anyways* _

Pein: Shall we?

Konan: _*smiles*_ We shall.

_*Both go to thier room & do God knows what*_

_

* * *

_

**Shifter**: Well, that's all for this story. I'm tired & gunna go to bed now. Thanks for reading! 'Night!


End file.
